Very Funny Joke : Pappu Ke 4 Bachche The.

पप्पू के 4 बच्चे थे.एक दिन उसने अखबार में पढ़ा कि ऐसे व्यक्ति जिनके 5 या अधिक बच्चे हैं,
सरकार उन्हें 20000 रुपया महीना देगी.यह खबर पप्पू ने अपनी पत्नी को दिखाई और बोला – “अगर तुम नाराज़ न हो तो तुमसे एक बात कहूँ … ?”
पत्नी – “नहीं होऊंगी … कहो !”पप्पू – “मुझे मेरी गर्ल-फ्रेंड से भी एक बच्चा है … तुम कहो तो उसे भी अपने घर ले आऊँ …
हमें ये20000 रुपये महीने मिलने लगेंगे!”
पत्नी – “ठीक है … ले आओ !”
पप्पू खुशी-खुशी बच्चे को लेने चला गया. जब वह बच्चे को लेकर वापस लौटा तो देखा कि उसके 2 बच्चे गायब हैं.
उसने पत्नी से पूछा – “मुन्नू औरचुन्नू कहां गए ?”
पत्नी – “जिसके थे वो ले गया …
अब अखबार कोई ऐसी चीज़ तो है नहींकि अकेले तुम्हारे ही घर में आती हो ?

Funny Jokes : Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
Time ka pata hi nahi laga?

Funny Jokes : Santa Aur Bhikari

Bhikari: Kuch khane ko Dedo.
SANTA - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari - Roti dedo
Santa - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari -Lao Tamatar hi do
Santa ki Mummy - Ye totla hai aur keh raha hai, KAMAKAR khao.

Funny Jokes : Santa emotional ho gaya

Santa saari rat mujra dekhta raha.
Mujrewaali:
Hamne aapko khush kiya ab aap hamko khush kar do
Santa emotional ho gaya aur bola
Acha ab tu baith main nachta hun!!

Santa Banta Jokes : Mirror Ke Samne Padai

Santa: Tu Mirror ke samne baith kar kyun padhta hai?
Banta: Iske 3 fayde hain.
1. Sath me revision ho jata hai.
2. Khud pe nazar bhi rehti hai.
3. Padhne ke liye company mil Jati.

Funny Jokes : Santa Aur Kutta

Ek kutta ek car k neeche baitha tha..
Santa aaya aur uski poonch kheechta hua bola:
nikal saale…
bada aaya Mechanical Engineer..!!

Santa Banta Jokes : Maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai

Santa 2 cigarette ek saath pee raha thaa.
Patni: 2 cigarette kyon peete ho?
Santa: Dost kee yaad aati hai na.. ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost ki.
Kuchh dino baad Santa ek hi cigarette peene laga.
Patni ne poochha: Dost ko bhool gaye kya?
Santa: Nahi Pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai!!!

Santa Banta Jokes : Define Energy?

Sir: Define Energy?
Santa: Sir pura nai aata hain, thoda last ka pata hain, bas…
Sir: Thik hain, jitna aata hain utna bolo.
Santa: “and this is called Energy…”

Santa Banta Jokes : संता बंता को गुस्से से बोल रहा था।

संता बंता को गुस्से से बोल रहा था।

संता- यार, जब मैंने तुझे खत लिखा था कि मेरी शादी में जरूर आना। तो तुम आये क्यों नही?

बंता- ओह यार, पर मुझे खत मिला ही नही।

संता- मैंने लिखा तो था कि खत मिले या ना मिले तुम जरूर आना।

Funny Hindi Joke : Hum ne zindagi ki shuruaaat 'S' se ki.

"S" Hindi Joke

Hum ne zindagi ki shuruaaat 'S' se ki.
S se Suraj, S se Subah, S se Swagat, S se Saaz, S se Sangeet.
Par Fir 'S' se Samay ne aisi karwat badli Ki 'S' se hamari Shadi ho gai.

Aur fir jeevan ka arth 'S' se Saas, Sasural, Sala, Sali, Sasur aur 'Sankat' ho gaya. 

Funny Joke : Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya

THIS IS A CLASSIC ::

Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya aur apni WALL pe likha :


“Yaha thukna mana hai”

Funny Joke On Indian Daughter-in-laws

एक बार यमराज नरक के दौरे पर निकले
उन्होंने देखा कि एक कोने में बहुत सी औरतें आपस में हंसी मज़ाक कर रही थी
उन्होंने यमदूत को बुला कर पूछा कि ये कौन लोग हैं जो नरक में भी इतना enjoy कर हैं
यमदूत ने कहा हिन्दुस्तानी बहुएँ हैं कमबख्त जहाँ जाती हैं adjust हो जाती हैं ..
कहती हैं बिलकुल ससुराल जैसा माहौल है

Captain

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.”They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Mouthology

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor:“Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Clever kids

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Will’s experience at the airport

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Elephant

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says,“Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Wrong email address

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

@=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～* @=●～*

Teaching the Tribe

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets the word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy... activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

The Well-Dressed Salesman

A little old man answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a very well-dressed young man in a navy blue pinstriped suit, red silk tie, white shirt, shoes polished like black mirrors, and carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Get lost, Mister fancy suit!" said the old man. "I haven't got any money" and he proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his polished shoe in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

The old man again told him to get lost. And with that, the young man emptied a bucket of mud all over his hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this mess from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.

"I got a better idea" said the old man, looking the young man up and down "If you don't clean it all up, I'll swap those fancy clothes of yours fer my overalls."

"Fine, sir!" said the young man confidently.

"That fancy suit and tie are gonna look good on me!" said the old man."But take them shoes off first!"

"But sir! I haven't demonstrated the vacuum yet!"

"Yes, you have. The electricity ain't workin"..."